Two weeks almost to the day I get back from my trip, an I've been in kind of a depressed haze. I don't know what it is, but I've been getting kicked while I'm down since I got back from my awesome trip. I've been running through life at a hectic pace, but not really feeling any situation at all. I go through this every once and awhile but usually it's never this long, or bad. I feel like Pippin in Return of the King when he finds out Merry and him are going to be separated, this longing for.. something. I don't even know what this something is! It's hard, and this feeling of hopelessness and foreboding is just a mist I can't seem to shake. I've had so many issues here at home and I found myself missing my grandmother to the put of breaking down on the street and crying. Just awesome.
Yesterday, however, my friend Echo stopped by to give me a divination reading to clear some things up. It really helped my mood and the mist finally seemed to be lifting. Finally, after that, I felt better. Then last night, I had a dream I was vulnerable, and exposed to the world. There were all my feelings, just lying out there for people to pick up and shatter into a million pieces... When I woke, I was dreaming I had been falling over a cliff and I jolted awake. Dreams, as they are, make you feel emotions you've never experienced before and you can't shut the feelings off. I can't help now being guarded and reserved, even though it was just a dream. I'm going to try not to let it ruin my mood, go out, and as always put on my happy face and be that person that everyone wants me to be. This is just a non nonsensical rant to no one, since no one reads this anyway.. I kind of like being anonymous. I'm that girl that everyone nods to, but doesn't really see and sometimes I'm really okay with that.
Bailey Dawn
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