Random post at three in the morning

It is ridiculous how much emotion is pouring out of me these last few days. Ever since the cruise I've started writing songs again, I've started to learn the keyboard, I've started to sing again.. I have to ask myself.. Why? I feel as though every ounce of my being is somehow tied with a muse, dancing across my mind.. It's really hard to explain. Even now, I have so many ideas running through my head, it's just..  I'm so tired, I'm exhausted, but I just want to go practise my keyboarding.

For me, the one handed girl, the girl who lost her right hand to paralysing, to pick up an instrument.. After all of that... Everything I've been through.. I just don't even really think most people understand it's a huge step for me. When I was young, I was heavily involved with music, singing, dance, gymnastics.. When I suffered my brain tumour, I became a bystander because of many things, lack of mobility, lack of time.. lack of acceptance by peers.. I though music was done for me.

But this year, music is huge in my life. Watching it, playing it, singing it. It makes me want to cry. Cry tears of joy, because ultimately, music is where I know I belong.. I know that I will never make a career out of it, (Let's be realistic.. Who wants a singer in a wheelchair who's fat?, or a one handed keyboardist?) but just being in it and doing it is enough for me for now.  I'm incredibly thankful that whatever Deity has decided to step in and grace me with their presence again. Although it can be very frustrating at times, it's worth every ounce of that frustration.. It soothes the inner beast. I'd like to think I'm Belle, but I'm really just a beast.

So it is with that, that I'm going to share with you a song I wrote literally on the plane home after getting off the cruise.

"Above the clouds, the freedom roams where no one can know,
Can you hear me, sweet song bird of eternity?
Can you hear my calls or primal lust, fading into elegant dust.
Can you cast a glance at my life for me, sweet song bird of eternity?
You mean so much more than you know, forever child, eternal laughter, innocence redeemed.
The clouds wisping through the sky,freedom not known to man and oceans roaring below.
Forever child, eternal laughter, innocence redeemed."