Finally recovered..

That was brutal. I was hit with a cold, and then  the stomach flu  two days later. It was not a good two weeks for me. But I've finally recovered and I'm good to go, which means Nightwish project resumes and I'm free to go and come as I please...

Oh, wait! Jokes on me! The snow is barrelling down, some drifts are as high as my wheelchair and nobody shovels around here (due to apartments that are within blocks of my house). This sucks so much! I don't mean to play angst-y adult and throw myself to the wind, but no one gets it. My mother (the voice of loveliness, I assure you) told me to suck it up and get the fuck over it because it's not going to change and I'll be a cripple for my entire life. I suppose she's right, as much as it hurts to admit. I will always have these problems and I am just being silly for wanting a social life, or any life really, in the winter.  I always think that this winter will be so different, because I have so many projects to do. I have my panpipes, my Nightwish fan club thing, my music and everything. My life is perfect to most people who look in! I can watch as many movies as I want, play games, sleep whenever I want...  I think that feeling wore off two days into winter break and now there's just this emptiness that I can't seem to fill and it's not really good for my mental health.

It almost makes me wonder if I'll ever have a vacation that's not centered around something.  I love the Disney Parks, metal but to just sit around on vacation and not to do anything..  Yikes, that's not for me. I always have to be busy and it's the same in day to day life.

I have got to get out of this house for a little while...  I need a damn vacation away from boredom!! Last year at this time I was on the ocean and listening to metal.. and the rest of the time I was in the casino enjoying myself there. Watching the coming and goings of people, playing the slots or.. getting so drunk I got cut off by the bartender... *cough* Shhh!

SUMMER COME ALREADY!!! So I can go to school, the amusement park and bask in the glory of outside! I want to go to the lake, go swimming, go fishing and generally come and go as I please! I can't wait.


Thank you for reading this ramble garbage. I'm sorry you had to endure it.


Bailey Dawn <3