You know what really gets me heartbroken? I had some really great news to tell you.. I'm sure everyone knows already, since the only people that read this are from my facebook and to be honest, you are probably way more than sick of all the Nightwish stuff. Really, I'll try to be delicate about this, but this is just so heart crushing that I don't know what to do about it.
I went to get my funding in order for school.
Back story: I was in school, upgrading at NAIT since high school was a big mess for me.. I was sick, I started having seizures, fainting and another multitude of problems.. It sucked. And despite the fact I did try in high school, when I was there, I seemed to never be challenged enough, or far too much. They would put me in the special needs classes for things I've tested far beyond my peers for, and put me in too much for the classes I was lacking in.. They would push me ahead, even though they could see I was struggling, but they just didn't care. In fact, this happened to me ALL through out school once I got my brain tumor. I was one of those children who, in retrospect, just fell through every crack there was.
I never got into trouble throughout my schoolyears, not once.. Until I hit high school. At the end of grade ten, I started having seizures, one day it got so bad that my friends had to cart me out of the cafeteria. One day, I skipped class because I was feeling dizzy, woozy and gross, I had called my mom and told her I was coming home. I was waiting for a friend to come on the bus with me, but she was still in class, so I was in the cafeteria waiting for her. I got caught "skipping" class by my teacher. I got an in school suspension for two weeks.
I got pulled out by my mom the next week because my seizures got increasingly bad and the medication they had me on had made me lose twenty pounds in a week. I was still handing in my assignments though, and my teacher was.. "forgetting that I handed them in" and giving me a zero. My mom had called in freaking out. The only reason that teacher wasn't fired after that year was because she left on maternity leave.
The next year I had somewhere around twelve throat infections in six months, forcing me to drop out of choral studies, which really REALLY was heartbreaking, seeing as at that time, that was what I wanted to major in in post secondary. So that year was toast for me too, and the same thing happened. When Grade twelve rolled around, I was having bleeding spells that were almost killing me, so.... Yeah, safe to say I wasn't going back to school.
Too long, don't read. Blah blah, fat girl in a wheelchair was too sick for high school. Getting the jist yet? Oh and this part gets a little.. Uhm, Too much information, but I'll try to keep it less gross. If blood grosses you out, don't read.
Anyways, I went to NAIT winter semester of 2011 and throughout that time I had my period.. All the time. I bled all the time, for months.. Now, I've always had this, since I was twelve, and it can get pretty bad. Normally they just, I don't know, try to keep it held back with birth control and hope for the best? Suffice to say it wasn't working.
Around the start of October, it started to get heavy, and bad. I'm talking.. I would come home from school, down a bottle of motrin, nap, go to the emergency room, come home at four in the morning, get an hour of sleep, be woken up at six in the morning from cramps that wouldn't quit and then repeat my damn day. Oh and somehow manage to fit homework in there, too. Surprisingly, I work well under pressure, because I was still maintaining 80's and 70's in both of my classes.
It took a full month before I broke down and I went to my doctor after.. I dont know, six emergency visits and missing school a bunch. Dan also missed a ton of work, just a ton to take care of me. <3 My doctor wasn't there, so they got me in to see another one, who literally took me by the collar and shook me and told me, "Do you want to end up in the morgue?! You're quitting school NOW!" This was November 7th. My final was on December 15th.. All that work... WASTED? But.. he looked pretty serious and maybe I wasn't doing my body any good by being overly stubborn and treating it like a packing horse...
Reluctant, I agreed. He gave me a doctors note, and told me to rest and gave me an emergency refferal to an obgyn. I went to her. I now have the mirena, I was told to rest up until the fall and if there were no problems I could go back to school.
WELL THEN. Here we are. It's fucking May the 8th. And I'm fine and dandy. I can actually say that! I haven't bled in months! I feel great! I started working out yesterday and I'm startin.. *gasp* walking! yeah! I'm actually going to start walking today.. Just babysteps, but I figure it might strengthen my leg.
So why am I not jumping for joy? Well, I went back to NAIT yesterday to get my funding in order.. They won't fund me. Uh huh. They won't, because apparently even WITH a doctors note and proof that it will not happen again they cannot fund a person for courses that they already took and didn't complete. I'm too much of a liability. I'm so sorry for getting sick and damn near dying, guys!
As if I have $750 to blow per course when I need six of them in the next year.. Oh wait, but I do.. Well, sort of. I have to appeal their decision, which could take months and I might not get into school this semester anyways.
I have 750 to spare, I do.. But it's tied up in airfare, hotels and VIP tickets to see.. (I can't believe I'm crying as I write this, god damnit...) Nightwish. I knew something was going to come up to ruin this trip... I now have the toughest choice to make, and if you think it's not.. Just think of your favorite band, please. Think of what you would do to see them. This is heartbreaking.
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